as someone who could become a real friend

In this Phase

  • Stuff-We-Both-Know Conversations

  • 250 hours with your nurturer

  • 2000+ words gained

Lifestyle Participation Activities

  • Engage in as many public activities as possible.

  • Get to know the host people that you’ve become acquainted with and look for host people who like to spend a lot of time with you. They might become interviewees in Phase 4.

  • Enjoy conversations on many topics. Even though they likely won’t be very deep yet, conversation is now possible.

  • Participating in groups of host people is still probably not fruitful.

By the End of the Phase

  • able to have deep relationships with nurturers

  • most host people can get to know the growing participators

  • interactions with host communities (groups, social clubs, work teams) are not really possible

Many growing participators find that this phase is more fun than anything that’s come before. Real conversation becomes possible during this phase. Host people will likely notice the changes in your ability to understand them and connect. You will also being exploring the host world with your nurturer by your side and experience host practices together (see Glossary). Doing this phase intensively (20-25 hours per week with your nurturer) is very beneficial. You’re not yet able to have deep relationships or understand groups of host people. That will come as you continue to Phase 4, the Big Middle Phase, and beyond.


The guide in English is here. Other languages are also available. As in earlier phases, some of these guides have been adapted for the special challenges of growing participation in different host worlds.

There isn’t yet an orientation for this phase. If you’d like to make one — let us know!


There are many different kinds of stories and things are fruitful for “Stuff-We-Both-Know” conversations. Here are some ideas:

  • Fairy tales, religious stories, folk tales, biographies of historical figures. Pick up children’s books when you see them. Look for stories that are known to growing participators (e.g. Cinderella or David and Goliath) or are available in translation. If you can’t find any local stories, it may be worthwhile to pay for a translation of a few folk tales into English or another language growing participators know well.

  • Wordless cartoons and skits such as Tom & Jerry, Mr. Bean are great. has some wordless animations (limit the search to No Language) that many learners have used.

Have questions? Need advice?